


SSSS Dating Profiles

by wavewright62



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Flash Fic, Humor, Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wavewright62/pseuds/wavewright62
Summary: A simple title for a simple concept.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 40





	SSSS Dating Profiles

**Author's Note:**

> What would the cast write for themselves if they had listings in the dating section classifieds of the newspaper (assuming canon tech)? NB: Gendering of desired partners left off deliberately.

**Reynir**  
Hi! I’m Reynir, tall with looooong red hair, green eyes. You can always spot me because of my freckles! (Get it, *spot* me?) Anyway, I love long walks on the beach under the palm trees – except that I’m not immune, so we can’t actually *go* to the beach, but I’d love it. I’m really easygoing and have a great sense of humour, and a good listener. I don’t actually have a job right now, but I can do anything, and I’m helpful around the house, and I’m a mage, too! I don’t know anything about sheep, so would not be suitable on a farm safe in Iceland. Call me!! 

**Mikkel**  
Male, immune, 193cm, good build, all my own hair and teeth, Dane. Resourceful, fine with cooking and housework. Looking for an independent type to be my partner in crime, ha ha. I travel often, sometimes on the spur of the moment. Strong preference for names starting with M.

 **Sigrun**  
I’m a Captain in the great Norwegian military, from a long line of generals! Great kill ratio (I’ve lost track, but it’s hundreds), fast knife work, good shot, can lay traps, not afraid to get in there and do what needs to be done, might even be you?! I can go all night, especially in the summertime. Can’t stand prissy people or sitting around. If you like to go hard, you should totally pick me!

 **Lalli**  
Not weird.

 **Onni**  
When the forest is quiet, you can hear best. The sounds travels over the water. The music holds all things in its hands and gives it to the stars. I see the stars reflected in your eyes as my knees sink into the moss. Smokers okay.

 **Väinö**  
I hold an honoured and essential position as a skilled noita, ever vigilant against threats to Saimaa. But watching the frontier is lonely work, and the power of a thousand wings only goes so far on long winter nights. I can offer a secure home with breathtaking views. Immunes preferred.

 **Emil**  
I come from a good and proud family. I am tidy, good-looking, well-presented, and appreciate someone with refined tastes like mine. Family is very important to me, and there’s nothing I like better than a comfortable home, with good food and a nice fire burning hot and bright and flickering with leaping tongues of flames charring the logs in the hearth to red-hot glowing coals. I also love kids.


End file.
